From what I can gather it was Mothers Day in many countries around the world this past weekend. In England it is always on the fourth Sunday of Lent, so usually sometime in March.
You probably haven't noticed, but I don't mention Mothers Day here on my blog. It never used to be something that I worried about. I bought my own mother a card and gift and called to give her my love and hugs and so on. I still do that now.
Mothers Day has though become a difficult day for me and I have become less focussed on my own mother and more focussed on the fact that I am not a mother.
I have totally accepted and come to terms with the fact that I am not a mother, and will not be a mother, on all of the other days of the year. Our lives have moved on and we have a good life and we are happy. It has taken a lot to get here, but we have done it. Life is what it is and we are making it as good as we can. It really isn't going to happen and now I don't think that I would want it to happen because we have been through so much to get where we are I am not sure I could go through a whole emotional situation again. And that really is OK!
On Mothers Day though I still have these pangs of being upset and I cannot bring myself to put out into blogland good wishes for mothers or to celebrate it in any way. I don't begrudge anyone else their own motherhood or the love for their own mother, I just struggle to join in.
As I said, I still celebrate somewhat with my own mother, but that is as far as it goes.
Over the last few days though I have had a shift in my thoughts and feelings. It was quite unexpected.
It was Mothers Day in America and Canada and many other countries this past weekend - as I already said. Several bloggers wrote different posts that I read about the fact that Mothers Day can be difficult for some people, for a whole variety of reasons. There were also suggestions about it being a day to celebrate all women and their mothering and caring abilities, regardless of their childrearing abilities. Some people also wrote about their own mothers, seeing the day as a day to remember them and to celebrate them, even if they are no longer alive.
Now, it is probably just me, but in the past I haven't noticed people acknowledging the difficulties of this day for some people and that recognition really touched my heart. To know that there are people out there who realise that this day isn't fun and games for everyone is very touching indeed. So thank you if you were one of those who wrote some of those words this weekend.
I really liked the idea of it being a day to celebrate women. I know there is International Womens Day, but this is different, it is about the mothering aspects of being a woman. We can and often do mother those around us, even if we don't have children ourselves. I know that I do that!
Anyway, all that to say that I thank you for the wonderful posts this weekend about Mothers Day and for helping me to see this day differently and for sharing that you know that it isn't an easy day for everyone. That acknowledgement is very precious indeed.
Now, because I haven't been able to bring myself to say it before, I am saying it now. I salute all of those of you who are mothers or who mother others around you! You are great women doing great things. Happy Mothers Day!
To those who aren't mothers, for whatever reason, or find this day hard for any reason, know that there are people out there who understand and who know you are not having a fun day. I am one of those and I understand and my thoughts are with you every day and especially on Mothers Day.
p..s. after writing this I went to add a tag to the post and I don't have a single one for mothers. That is how much I have previously avoided writing about this. I have added one now!