Wednesday, 24 June 2015

How things are

Despite me calling this how things are, I cannot really tell you how things are because they are, as ever, not my very own things, just my nearly things and things that affect me, but aren't my things.  Does that make even the slightest bit of sense I wonder?

Anyway, life is not a bowl of cherries - or even strawberries like these!


Before the you know what hit the fan I saw this beautiful rainbow in the garden and took so many photos.  Hoping as always for dreams at the end of the rainbow.



It was ironic really.  I think of rainbows as happy things.  When I took these pictures I was happy.  Now, not so much.



The rainbow was amazing.  It was a full arc.  I could see two ends.  Just not where they might land.



As I hoped for the rainbow to be bringing good things, c r a p was landing all around.  Sorry for my language.




Nevertheless the rainbow is beautiful isn't it.

 
In order to help out and to allow some previous bad stuff bad stuff to be dealt with, I have spent the last few days looking after these two characters.
 

This lady is T.  She is an Italian Spinone and is surely one of the cutest doggies you have ever seen.  Just look at that face.  How could you resist.



Her brother in love (they aren't related) is B and he is also an Italian Spinone.  Just different colours.  He has enough personality for 100 dogs.  Can you see that little flower on his muzzle.  That is from drinking out of flowerpots!



Of course they didn't want to cooperate all the time.  No.  Why look at the camera.  Why go to bed at night too when you could stay up barking intermittently until midnight!!!!



Despite being mostly unwilling to pose for photos they were very good though and good company while I haven't been at home.  It also meant that someone else close to me could go and do what they needed to.  I might be back again next week to care for them again.  Let us hope they go to bed rather earlier!!



I did get to enjoy the view though and some beautiful blue skies.



Can you just make out the windmill.  These pictures were taken from the same point as the picture above this one, I have zoomed right in and then cropped the photos.  This isn't really a windmill at all.  It houses a mobile phone mast.  Very ingenious isn't it!


You can see here how far away I really was.


I have managed to get some crochet completed, but not as much as I thought I might.  My water bottle now has a cover though which will I hope mop up the condensation from the outside of the bottle and make it less slippy.  No pattern, I just worked a flat circle and then carried on making it bigger or smaller as the shape of the bottle changed.  I like it and it is very girly!


I returned home last night and my dearest of dearest hubbies had bought me these flowers.  How incredibly kind of him.  I needed something to cheer me up.  There has been bad news for someone very close to me.  This just tops off all of the other bad news and difficult things that seem to have kept on coming the last few years.  I have no idea what will happen next.  We will see.  I can only stand by to a certain extent, except that I keep getting draw in and expected to be involved, but really I am not.  Whatever is required is fine, but it is very difficult and some distance away from me physically so it sure does make for hard times.


The garden didn't miss me while I was gone at all.  Despite not being watered!  The flowers just kept on coming.


Look at the hypericum - I remembered the name!  You all recently taught me that it is also called the Rose of Sharon and St Johns Wort.  I don't know if I can remember three names for one plant though!


The honeysuckle has been going crazy too.  It was too late last night for any scent, it is scentier when the sun is shining on it.


So that is me right now.  Yet again in between a rock and a hard place.  I seem to spend a large amount of my life there.  Sort of wedged in some crevice somewhere.  Involved and yet not, expected to do things, but not to be told anything.  Expected to be a certain way, but never being sure of what that way is.  So generally I end up in trouble one way or the other for trying to do the right thing.  It is hard to do the right thing when you have no idea what that is and when that thing constantly changes.

Some good news to end on.  Lady who I have mentioned before is doing so very well.  She just had her birthday that quite frankly I never thought she would see.  She is bright and cheery.  Not good physical health wise, but mentally she is all there and then some.  Far sharper than me at times.  Care needs are being dealt with pretty darn well and life is pretty good.  I would say that it is a miracle and I don't think that is stretching the definition of miracle at all.  I am grateful and glad and so are many others.

Man who I have also mentioned continues to be himself and is as difficult to deal with as ever.  Aggravating doesn't begin to describe the situations at times.  I cannot bring myself to describe things to you as it can be so grim.

Anyway, they are both doing their thing in their own ways, which is just as well considering that we now have this other person to deal with again.  Their situation has been going on a long time and comes and goes as far as the severity of things and right now it has come with a great big massive blast.

I am sorry to have rambled.  It is very hard.  I am all mixed up inside - did you guess that already! - and it is hard when I cannot really tell you things. 

In the meantime I will keep going.  I don't know how posting will go, but I am determined after having to stop a little while ago that I am not going to do that again, so I will keep to my schedule as best as I can.

Thank you all for your loveliness and for bearing with me.  Thank you for your kind thoughts and words and deeds.

I am remembering this.

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.  Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

John 14:27

My heart is troubled and afraid, but I hope that by remembering these words there might be some relief.

Amy

58 comments:

  1. My thoughts and prayers are with and for you, many of us have people who drain our time and energy. It has to be dealt with or totally ignored depending on the circumstances. I am often called upon to help and mostly I am willing if not happy to do so. There are times though when I have to say NO, because either the situation was avoidable and came of stupidity or I have just reached the point where I feel that I am being used and abused. I hope that this is resolved soon and you can get back to living your own life.

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  2. Sometimes a hug is what you need because the words aren't enough. A HUGE virtual hug for you x

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  3. Hang in there dear soul. Better days are ahead, always keep that thought in your heart. Your flowers are lovely, your husband is a real sweetie pie.

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  4. Oh Amy, I really hope you'll get some virtual sunshine in your life... soon...
    Xxx

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  5. Massive hugs to you, I hope things improve for you

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  6. I hope things will settle down again for you very soon. Sometimes we just have to carry on, though, with the strength and peace that comes from the One who said those words in John.

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  7. I agree with what Pam said. You do what you can. And sometimes you just have to step aside and let folks deal with their own issues. Of course, we don't really know what's going on so kind of hard to really give any kind of advice except to do what you feel is right and when it no longer feels right, stop doing it. Those pooches certainly need love and care so I am happy you were able to do that for them. And the countryside is just gorgeous. Take care of yourself first, otherwise you won't be able to help anyone else. Best wishes and blessings, Tammy

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  8. What a couple of cute dogs and a lovely view. It is such a good idea to hide the phone mast in a windmill. It could start a trend, anything unsightly on the horizon and there would be a knock on the door and a couple of chaps in overalls would turn up with a windmill. I hope things improve for you. x

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  9. Thinking of you and sending you love and strength to deal with whatever life throws at you. Continue to see the beauty and joy around you, even in your times of despair.

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  10. Hope things settle down soon for you and your friend. Her pooches are absolutely lovely and I expect a great companion when not barking at the moon.

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  11. I'm keeping you in my thoughts, Amy. Somewhere, over that rainbow .... :o)

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  12. Sending you a big hug, hope it is a comfort.

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  13. Sorry to hear that things are tough - take care

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  14. Echo Karen's comment - no words can really help so just kind thoughts and virtual hugs coming your way - look after yourself Amy:)xxxx

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  15. Perhaps that rainbow was sent just for you- something beautiful to hold on to, a reminder that even when difficult times threaten to blot out all the good, there is still beauty in the world. A wise woman once told me things do get better, if you can just hold on long enough. Thinking of you my dear xx

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  16. Oh Amy, I'm so sorry things are so difficult for you at the moment. It sounds as if it's coming at you relentlessly from all angles. I do hope things reach an even keel soon, you have been under a lot of pressure for a long time I think. I'm so glad you have such a lovely husband by your side, the flowers are gorgeous. And good news about the lady. Being mentally sharp at an advanced age is a wonderful thing. I'm sending you a big cyber hug. I love reading your blog, but don't feel you have to turn up here if it's too difficult. On the other hand, sometimes it's a good thing to have somewhere like this. And you have so many friends here too. CJ xx

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  17. So sorry you're having a rough ride. It's hard when life gets out of kilter and when, whatever you do, it seems you can't do right for doing wrong. Just take the time to keep smelling the flowers and eating the fruit (and wishing on those rainbows, of course). Very best wishes.

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  18. Beautiful rainbow, hope it gives you strength to face what you need to. Hope things improve soon xx

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  19. Sending you lots of my happiness Jo x

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  20. Sending big hugs to you Amy. I understand how life can be like this. I have spent the last year in a similar situation and it's flipping hard!

    Hoping big sunshine will light your way and you find the end of the rainbow!


    Vanessa xxx

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  21. I hope things get easier for you soon. On the bright side, there's nothing like a dog, or two, to cheer you up at times like this so enjoy them when you get to look after them. I'm so glad to hear that Lady is doing well, I bet she's getting a lot of joy now from the fishing float you repaired for her.

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  22. Keep that rainbow in your mind Amy for it shall come again. You have been in my thoughts and prayers across the big ocean and I do hope there is some time in the near future for you just to be still. I'm glad the hubs got you those flowers as it is a reminder of your goodness my friend. Sending a hug and a hand hold to you...Nicole xo

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  23. I've been trudging through poop for a while now (the situation got worse not better)...but I can see a clearing ahead... you'll see it too, one day.
    Jane xxxx

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  24. Sending you love and joy i do hope your receive it asap and feel much better soon,
    lots of love
    Amy xxx

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  25. Life can be so difficult at times and families certainly know how to put us through the wringer. Hope it gets better for you, those certainly are beautiful flowers your husband brought you, so obviously he's taking good care of you. Hugs!

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  26. I'm sending the greatest hug and my grandson sends you a cuddle and the cutest toothless smile ever, I am sorry things are tough for you right now. You are in my prayers

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  27. Oh Amy. I truly hope things improve for you soon. Sending all good wishes your way. Take care of yourself. X

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  28. Whatever is going on in your life, I wish you peace and gentleness of spirit. Blessings

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  29. Life is no bowl of cherries, that's for certain. So glad you took the time to admire the rainbow. I hope that things will turn around for you soon.

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  30. Amy saying a small but earnest prayer for you

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  31. Dearest Amy,
    I'm not surprised that you are all over the place. You seem to be stretched in all directions. I'm just glad that your husband is there for you. And us of course. Take good care of yourself, lovely girl.
    Leanne xx

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  32. It must be something in the local water, I have had an absolute rubbish year, with no end in sight. But am hanging in there like you, and I am certain things will improve - eventually!!! I just love the dogs!! Sending you love and good wishes and hope your life improves soon! X

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  33. I like you wrote about the dreams in the end of the rainbow. The pictures are amazing and A and B are very cute. I really couldn't resist looking their eyes!

    Sandra

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  34. Somehow, by some strange magic, we can alter our lives by concentrating on what we want rather than what we don't want. Whilst you're being pulled in all directions, try to take five minutes to sit and collect your thoughts, imagining life how you want it to be. If nothing else, it's a happy five minutes :-) This is a good website for positive daily emails from the Universe: www.tut.com - it's lovely to get a smile in your inbox every day! xx

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  35. I'm sorry Amy. I'm glad you have some beautiful scenery, fun dogs, pretty flowers, crochet and a wonderful husband to add joy to your life. I'll be praying for you!

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  36. Oh my poor sweet Amy! What a pickle - and how frustrating it all sounds!!
    When I have had trying times and had to deal with trying people (even with some family members in the past) I used my daily devotional, prayer, good talks with my hubby and my Mom and friends and even journaling to sort it all out for myself. And I think the biggest thing is staying true to yourself and who you are and not being manipulated to be someone you're not. Just keep focusing on the gem of the person you are and the positive joy that seems so much a part of you. Don't let them take that from you.

    Know you have many blogland friends in your corner too! Ramble away when you need to, we'll listen. Blessings and prayers for peace and resolution. xoxo

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  37. Sending a hug at this difficult time. x

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  38. So sorry you're struggling again Amy, much love and hugs from me xxx

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  39. I am so sorry that things are not going well for you right now. You sound very contemplative and I'm glad you can get some of your feelings out by blogging and with your pretty photography. Big hugs to you, my friend.

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  40. I like that your hubby brought you flowers....nice touch!
    You'll be just fine.......
    Cheers!
    Linda :o)

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  41. Beautiful rainbows, cute doggies, but so sorry to hear you are having difficulties. Although you cannot spell it out for us, you do have a wonderful way of conveying things, so that I really feel I understand some of what you might be experiencing. Thoughts, hugs and prayers to you, dear Amy. xox

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  42. Aw! So sorry! Life can be so very hard sometimes. I can tell you are a person who does the 'right thing', even if it is very difficult. Sending you love and encouragement. Your photos are lovely today and your little friends are just adorable. You are a sweetie for caring for them. Your hubby seems to know just how to cheer you up when you need it the most. Hugs xo Karen

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  43. Sorry to hear you are having a hard time Amy. Whilst it is very flattering to be asked to help in times of need, it is sometimes helpful to place a framework on the assistance you are willing and able to give, eg 'Yes, happy to take the dogs for the next three weeks but it would be very difficult after that' or 'I can see you're having a very hard time this month, I will help however I can for the next few weeks' etc. Sometimes friends and family need to be helped to realise that they need to plan their own recovery from personal situations, and not lean so heavily on other people (like you) that you end up damaged in the process. You always come over as very sweet, kind,and loving Amy, and the sort of person who would never say 'No' to anyone, but it is not wrong to put a framework on the help you give to others, rather than hand yourself over to them unconditionally for an unspecified length of time, or you will end up in a pickle too. I guess the message here is 'help others, but look after yourself too' Sending love x

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  44. Hoping life sorts itself out for you Amy and you have calmer, happier times ahead. x

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  45. Hi - Sorry to hear of your troubles - hope things settle down soon. Love your photos. Those dogs are so cute. Take care. Joan at www.aviewtothefells.com

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  46. Sorry to hear things are so difficult for you at present. Hoping things settle down soon. Sending virtual hugs to you, Amy. Take care of yourself. Barbara xxxx

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  47. Hi Amy. I'm sorry life it so stressful and unhappy right now, and hope things are sorting themselves out and that you find some peace amidst all these pulls in different directions. x

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  48. Troubles greets us all and sometimes in droves doesn't it? I am so sorry. I tend not to wrote about troubles either because it is so difficult writing "in code" or writing but not writing...so yes, I absolutely followed your confusion. Praying for resolution and happy times again.

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  49. Beautiful rainbow, Amy. I'm sorry that you find yourself embroiled in some one else's situation and being the lovely person you are, the one who is sorting things out and looking after two furry friends. I hope it is resolved soon xx

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  50. Oh I'm so sorry ti hear that things are not great for you again! I bet you keep getting drawn in because you care but you must try to remember to take care of yourself too. The dogs are adorable!! Look after yourself Amy, lots of love xxx

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  51. AH my dear friend, not a good week at all is it? I am sending you a big hug and want you to know I am here for you......
    Meredith

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  52. Thinking of you Amy and I hope that things take a turn for the better very soon, sending lots of love. xxx

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  53. Praying for clarity and comfort right in the midst of the howling vortex...

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  54. I'm playing catch-up again Amy and I'm sorry to read that you're in the midst of yet more difficult times. I hope things settle down for you soon. Big hugs xx

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  55. Keep on running, keep on blogging and we're always here for you when you need a vent. Bless x

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  56. I could write the same story of how the past few years have been, but the past two with relationships. I finally just had to claim the Bible verse, "The Lord will fight for you. You need only to be still." I have a plaque with that over my light switch so that read it often, many times a day. Prayers for help in your situations.

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